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I decided to find a list of the 100 greatest novels on the internet and then read them all.

After some searching I realised I had a problem. Some people choose books that are worthy of going in the top 100 books because they’re up their own arseholes. I tried the Telegraph, the Guardian, the book club… Looking at the lists these people had chosen made me gag a little. No great sci-fi, no great horror. All the books were period fucking dramas written by dull and dry old men and women sat in their dusty fucking mansions.

Sod that. I eventually found the Modern Library list of 100 greatest novels as voted for by real people who enjoy reading because they enjoy reading and not because they have some literary point to make about how fucking well read they are. (I personally feel there are some books missing from this list but never mind)

Now I’ve already read some of these books so if I can remember the book well, I’ll tick it off now. if not, I’ll read it again. Clearly this is going to take me some time, ho hum.

Note: I hated the first Ann Rynd book so much I’ve decided to not even bother reading the others.

1. ATLAS SHRUGGED by Ayn Rand – 1/10 – God-awful book, couldn’t finish it. So dry and dull.
2. THE FOUNTAINHEAD by Ayn Rand – Not going to bother.
3. BATTLEFIELD EARTH by L. Ron Hubbard – 7/10 – First half was good, gets a bit daft in the second half.
4. THE LORD OF THE RINGS by J.R.R. Tolkien – Already read, don’t want to read again. 7/10
5. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD by Harper Lee – Read it before but loved it again, very good – 8/10
6. 1984 by George Orwell – Read it before but clearly didn;t appreciate it. This time I thought it was awesome! – 10/10
7. ANTHEM by Ayn Rand – Not going to bother
8. WE THE LIVING by Ayn Rand – Not going to bother
9. MISSION EARTH by L. Ron Hubbard
10. FEAR by L. Ron Hubbard
11. ULYSSES by James Joyce
12. CATCH-22 by Joseph Heller – Already read, great book, 9/10
13. THE GREAT GATSBY by F. Scott Fitzgerald – Yeah, alright, not fantastic though, 7/10
14. DUNE by Frank Herbert – Already Read – Fantastic! 10/10
15. THE MOON IS A HARSH MISTRESS by Robert Heinlein
16. STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND by Robert Heinlein – I really liked this, bit different, 9/10
17. A TOWN LIKE ALICE by Nevil Shute
18. BRAVE NEW WORLD by Aldous Huxley – Already read, not as good as other people say, 6/10
19. THE CATCHER IN THE RYE by J.D. Salinger – WTF?, Errm, not much to say really, 3/10
20. ANIMAL FARM by George Orwell – Already read at school, ok, too political, 7/10
21. GRAVITY’S RAINBOW by Thomas Pynchon
22. THE GRAPES OF WRATH by John Steinbeck
23. SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE by Kurt Vonnegut – Already read – Brilliant! 10/10
24. GONE WITH THE WIND by Margaret Mitchell
25. LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding – Already read, meh! 5/10
26. SHANE by Jack Schaefer
27. TRUSTEE FROM THE TOOLROOM by Nevil Shute
28. A PRAYER FOR OWEN MEANY by John Irving
29. THE STAND by Stephen King
30. THE FRENCH LIEUTENANT’S WOMAN by John Fowles
31. BELOVED by Toni Morrison
32. THE WORM OUROBOROS by E.R. Eddison
33. THE SOUND AND THE FURY by William Faulkner
34. LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov
35. MOONHEART by Charles de Lint
36. ABSALOM, ABSALOM! by William Faulkner
37. OF HUMAN BONDAGE by W. Somerset Maugham
38. WISE BLOOD by Flannery O’Connor
39. UNDER THE VOLCANO by Malcolm Lowry
40. FIFTH BUSINESS by Robertson Davies
41. SOMEPLACE TO BE FLYING by Charles de Lint
42. ON THE ROAD by Jack Kerouac
43. HEART OF DARKNESS by Joseph Conrad
44. YARROW by Charles de Lint
45. AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS by H.P. Lovecraft
46. ONE LONELY NIGHT by Mickey Spillane
47. MEMORY AND DREAM by Charles de Lint
48. TO THE LIGHTHOUSE by Virginia Woolf
49. THE MOVIEGOER by Walker Percy
50. TRADER by Charles de Lint
51. THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY by Douglas Adams – Already read, brilliant, 10/10
52. THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER by Carson McCullers
53. THE HANDMAID’S TALE by Margaret Atwood
54. BLOOD MERIDIAN by Cormac McCarthy
55. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE by Anthony Burgess – Already read, not bad at all, 7/10
56. ON THE BEACH by Nevil Shute
57. A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN by James Joyce
58. GREENMANTLE by Charles de Lint
59. ENDER’S GAME by Orson Scott Card – Excellent book and indeed, excellent series, 9/10
60. THE LITTLE COUNTRY by Charles de Lint
61. THE RECOGNITIONS by William Gaddis
62. STARSHIP TROOPERS by Robert Heinlein
63. THE SUN ALSO RISES by Ernest Hemingway – Not bad, I prefer Wilbur Smith though. 7/10
64. THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP by John Irving
65. SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES by Ray Bradbury
66. THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE by Shirley Jackson
67. AS I LAY DYING by William Faulkner
68. TROPIC OF CANCER by Henry Miller
69. INVISIBLE MAN by Ralph Ellison
70. THE WOOD WIFE by Terri Windling
71. THE MAGUS by John Fowles
72. THE DOOR INTO SUMMER by Robert Heinlein
73. ZEN AND THE ART OF MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE by Robert Pirsig
74. I, CLAUDIUS by Robert Graves
75. THE CALL OF THE WILD by Jack London
76. AT SWIM-TWO-BIRDS by Flann O’Brien
77. FARENHEIT 451 by Ray Bradbury – Nice idea, quite a good story, 8/10
78. ARROWSMITH by Sinclair Lewis – 8/10, this was surprisingly good. Enjoyed it.
79. WATERSHIP DOWN by Richard Adams
80. NAKED LUNCH by William S. Burroughs
81. THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER by Tom Clancy
82. GUILTY PLEASURES by Laurell K. Hamilton
83. THE PUPPET MASTERS by Robert Heinlein
84. IT by Stephen King- Already read, best book ever, on earth. 10/10
85. V. by Thomas Pynchon
86. DOUBLE STAR by Robert Heinlein
87. CITIZEN OF THE GALAXY by Robert Heinlein
88. BRIDESHEAD REVISITED by Evelyn Waugh
89. LIGHT IN AUGUST by William Faulkner
90. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST by Ken Kesey
91. A FAREWELL TO ARMS by Ernest Hemingway
92. THE SHELTERING SKY by Paul Bowles
93. SOMETIMES A GREAT NOTION by Ken Kesey
94. MY ANTONIA by Willa Cather
95. MULENGRO by Charles de Lint
96. SUTTREE by Cormac McCarthy
97. MYTHAGO WOOD by Robert Holdstock
98. ILLUSIONS by Richard Bach
99. THE CUNNING MAN by Robertson Davies
100. THE SATANIC VERSES by Salman Rushdie