samuri.co.uk

Bike: Humu
Distance: 30 miles

So I bring my kit in yesterday, leave it in the changing room and lock my laptop in a cupboard before I leave.
Up at 5, Get ready nice and leisurely, take dog out, out at about 5:45. Sweet. Bit nippy but no wind and the sun is about to come up. I have chosen a grade A excellent route. All leafy suburbia, no cars on the road, lovely and quiet, birds chirping, humu wirring away quietly. Get to the start of the offroad bit, this is 8 miles of pure cheek. I’ve not surveyed this so it’s pot luck if it works or not. It’s completely sweet! Bit muddier than I anticipated but deserted, narrow, beautiful and fun. My mood is picking up massively. I pootle along very happily for a number of miles, I see no road, no houses, only some fences and the railway line which keeps popping into view on my left remind me I’m riding along through the Manchester-liverpool living belt. I see the motorway in the distance and by the time I get to the bridge that passes under it I’m convinced I’m going to have a sex wee in my shorts.

Things stay happy until I get deep into Sankey Valley Park which is like a freaking maze. Plus they’re building a load of new paths so instead of leaving the old ones for the time being, they dig them up to leave a ploughed field. This does little to dampen my mood though and after a bit of too-ing and fro-ing I find a path I recognise and sprint along to the BMX track in sankey bridges. Now it’s a couple of miles road to work, BONUS, cycle path, didn’t realise that’d be there.

I sprint into site and lock my bike up, I bet it’s not needed but better safe than sorry eh? Into the social club. Now I’ve not really checked this place out before but it’s fine. The changing room is a true man’s haven. No women are allowed in here, unless they’ve appeared in a paper or a calendar with their knockers out in which case they get stuck to the wall. There’s a book shelf filled with muscle and porn mags. It’s slightly worrying actually.

I’m the only one there though so no problem. I go and get a shower and they’re actually pretty good. There’s three and the water pressure is good, temperature is nice and controllable, way better than I expected. I finish and get changed, there’s radiators to leave my coat and towel on.

And now I’m at my desk, like a smug twat. And like sex, I fully intend to do it again very soon.

Bet I get moved to a different site next week.

The ride home was even better. I added more offroad and everything was great, but then I got called out and worked till 9:30. I hate my job, but it pays really well, truth be told. Sooner or later I’m going to accept that’s not enough and ditch it. Like monday.