samuri.co.uk

Bike: Humuhumu
Distance:28 miles

Lovely commute only marred by getting to work and finding the disabled toilets locked because ‘The guy in the wheelchair is on holiday’.

Nope, I have no fucking idea either.

Bike:Vela
Distance:30 miles

Nice sunny ride. Not much wind for once and no rain which was amazing. The amount of cocks on the road made up for it though, as did my hurting legs. Now I KNOW I’m turning into Matt. Really though, something brought them out today. Just grade B crapness for the most part but the final cock was seriously trying. I found him, in a white van at the bottomof Delph Hill, parked right in the cycle section at the lights. I couldn;t be bothered with the conflict so I just pulled up behind him. I could see his little piggy eyes watching me in the mirror just begging me to try and challenge his immense arguing ability. I waited.

Further down the hill he stops at some more lights (despite flying off at light speed, he’d not got any further in front of me after a couple of miles). There was a clear gap down his outside and another cycle section at the lights but as I made to pass him he veered to the side to block me. Ho hum.

Next set of lights (yes, yet again he’d floored it and not got anywhere). This time we’re both turning right, I use the cycle lane on the very left to pass him and then move over to the right lane. I edge into the cycle section and the lights change so I nail it through Lostock. Loads of speed humps and thos one way priority things here so I leave him easily. I hear his engine screaming though as he canes it up a hill to a speed slamlom thing and he very nearly gets it up on two wheels as he careers through it, nearly hitting me and the kerb. What a bell end.

Two more milesdown the road and I catch him again. He;’s clearly insane so I hold back rather than trying to pass him again (although I could of easily)

So over what, 6 miles? He took about 4 years off the van’s life, used about 2 gallons of petrol and yet got no further than a middle aged slow bloke on a bike. Knob

head.

Bike: vela
Distance: 29 miles

Well, I missed out Monday like a weakling, you wouldn’t catch Matt doing that. And then I treated today like a recovery ride, what a gayer! It was nice today though. God sent lots of really dark clouds to make me think it was going to rain so I put on my heavy jacket. God was having a great big laugh at me though because it didn’t rain once and I sweated extremely heaviliy the entire ride.

Took a few pictures though.

More on my flickr stream.

Bike: Handjob
Distance: 51 miles (1560m of climbing)

First proper hard offroad ride of the year I think. But I felt really good. Climbed up to the pike without missing a step, straight back down. On the way down to the gate I decided it would be a good time to brake. I pulled the levers and absolutely nothing happened, both levers hit the bars. Nearly pooed myself. Tried again, that got something, tried again, that started them working properly. They remained like this all the way round the ride, had to pre-prump them for any descents.

Got onto the Belmont road, met a load of Ironmen. Rode down into Belmont with them and then veered off through the cones to go over to Witton Weavers way. (Passed a load of ironmen on the descent and then passed a load of roadies on the next road climb. And they were trying to too! I felt great! Witton Weavers way over to Tockholes, start the Darwen climb, pass 4 or 5 blokes on the way up there. FLY up to Darwen tower, don;t even bother stopping and shoot back down the other side.

Into Darwen, road climb up to the tops and then back on the Witton Weavers over to Entwistle. No shooting on the rifle range so fly right across to the base of peel Tower hill. This is a very steep climb and for the first time today I have to drop out of the big ring…..and then the middle ring. Make it mind and sit down for a rest. Great! Descend back down to Ramsbottom and due to time constraints I don’t bother trying reversing my route but just back through Bolton on the road and pick up some local trails to get me home.

Great ride, really enjoyed it and felt quite good once I got home, despite the MOTHERFUCKERS NEXT DOOR COMING HOME AT 4:30 AND MAKING LOADS OF NOISE TILL 7!!!!! And to think we’re trying to keep them sweet about this conservatory. In fact that’s the only thing that stopped me going round there with a pair of flails and suggesting they bring it down a bit if they don’t want to never wake up.

edit: And that’s 183 for the week, quite happy with that.
edit, edit: If you think 183 miles in a week sounds a lot. Try looking at a complete crazy lunatic’s mileage for one week….. Yep, that’s right, 351 miles on one week, and Matt rides mostly offroad.
Fucking nuts!

Bike:Vela
Distance: 31 miles

Nice ride out on the road. Lots of idiots about mind but too windy to go really fast and too wet to really enjoy it.