Foil hat time? I’m not sure it’s going to work.
by admin on Nov.17, 2009, under Uncategorized
You’ll remember that I’ve not ridden a bike for about a month, without getting soaked to the skin. I automatically assumed this was simple bad luck, and a cumulation of circumstances. It is after all, the rainy season. I now believe different.
Yesterday was the only day this week that I could commute. I’ve got the velodrome tonight, working on a different site Wednesday and Thursday and I’m working from home Friday. So the plan was to commute yesterday, velodrome tonight, ride maybe Wednesday or Thursday night and have an ‘offsite visit’ on Friday.
So I get up, bright and early Monday morning, (after working till 1am I might add), to the sound of heavy rain. Now normally I;d just get on my bike an go but you know what? I really could not be arsed. I really could not be arsed, getting onto a wet bike, riding to work in near zero visibility with lorries and cars spraying gallons of water over me, of getting a 15 mile long enema and of stripping off my sopping wet clothes and hanging them on the radiator at work knowing that it would either not have enough warmth to dry them for the return trip or some cunt would throw them on the floor. So I went back to bed.
This morning, bearing in mind riding in is not possible today, imagine my surprise when I looked out the window to see a PERFECT commuting morning looking back at me. Not just ok, but absolutely fecking perfect. Lovely clear sky, dry winter glow, dry ground, crisp (but not too cold) air, bang on, grade A….perfect.
I’m willing to bet, that we see exactly the same Wednesday and Thursday too (although the weather will turn nasty in the evening). I’m also willing to bet, that by Friday, we’re back to rainy city again.
The *only* explanation for this, is that someone is reading my thoughts and adjusting the weather accordingly. Now obviously anyone with a thought reading machine can do this, but adjusting the weather correspondingly is a trickier task. I looked on Amazon but they don’t sell rain makers. So it’s got to be god. The only question is, why, is god targetting me so? I’m not a bad person, there’s certainly a lot worse out there, so what is it that makes him hate me so……
Got it.
He’s jealous of my idylic existance. It bothers him that an earth bound mortal should have such a perfect life. Yes, that’s it.
November 17th, 2009 on 10:23 am
November 17th, 2009 on 12:37 pm
s’allreet, god’s having some fun with me… went away for a 2 week mountaineering trip at the beginning of sept to the swiss alps that i’d been looking forward to for a year (and preparing for). Ended up coming back halfway through with a broken back after falling off near the summit of one of the mountains we were climbing.
since then it’s been test, after test of my sanity and patience.. shed having been broken into, phone being washed, various car issues (with both), and the latest of which is the shed now leaking quite profusely (should have known it wouldn’t have lasted the winter when we moved in in July).
however i should also thank him, as after a 6 hour stint in hospital yesterday i did finally discover that i won’t be needing back surgery (BIG phew) and can hopefully expect to see some serious improvement in 6 weeks… I wont be fighting fit, but i may just be able to have a bottle of bubbly for xmas.
November 17th, 2009 on 1:03 pm
Blimey, that’s terrible Dave. Glad you don’t need surgery. Puts my pithy moaning into perspective. Hope you get well soon. Can you get them to install a bionic back so you can rythmically vibrate your hips at 300Hz? That’d be useful.
November 17th, 2009 on 1:50 pm
Don’t fall for the BrokenBack sympathy vote. My mate crushed a vertbrae, we were all upset but turned out he’d recently bought an iPhone.
Serves him right!
November 17th, 2009 on 5:53 pm
nah iphone nowhere to be seen in my house… but i am now on crapmobile ™ base model nokia (euurgh) but at least it works and means i can start getting back all the numbers i lost (serves me right for not having them on the sim).
unfortunately no bionic back, but i might, might just be back to work next year.. which i’m sure will make them vaguely happy.
I think it’s payback, either for climbing in the first place when i should have been biking, maybe for riding singlespeed, or perhaps for being ginger..
if it’s that latter it’s not working, as i’ve decided to grow a beard, since i can’t bend over to wash/shave my face in the sink anyway so pppfffrtt to god! Just remember there’s always going to be someone who’s worse off.. being in hosp and seeing other patients reminds me of that.
November 17th, 2009 on 7:12 pm
Just toughen the fuck up Jon. Even I rode in yesterday morning. It was fucking awful but I had an ace tailwind on the way home
November 17th, 2009 on 8:52 pm
So did you decide to ride at about 3pm today? As it rained my whole way home! But thanks for not night riding, I had lovely weather this evening!
Oh and when you are at the velodrome can you keep an eye out on the 2nd hand adds, we’re after a track bike for Ali, something like a 54. But very little money at the moment so needs to be cheap!
November 17th, 2009 on 9:48 pm
I did see the rain today at 3, I smiled a bit. Sorry.
What I have found is that this really is the wrong time of year to be buying a track bike, I’m told spring is the best time but I’ll keep my eyes open. There is a track frame on the board at the moment, I’ll check next Tuesday to see what size it is.
November 18th, 2009 on 7:37 am
I can also tell you are not riding today! Woken up to lots of rain!
November 18th, 2009 on 9:08 am
Dave: If you took your top off whilst climbing and flexed your muscles for all to see then you have no one to blame but yourself!
November 18th, 2009 on 11:58 am
it was a bit parky for that… being at 4000m n’all. but i’ll remember that one for future eh?