Right, it’s snowing….
…so why do you feel you can drive like it’s the middle of summer?
Now I grew up in the Peak District, on the lower slopes of Kinder to be precise so I, by my own modest admission, like to think I know a thing or two about driving in the snow. My first drive ever was in the snow and we could usually guarantee a good month every year of snow driving. So I know that you never take things for granted, always leave a big gap and do everything gently.
Sadly, not everyone had this educational introduction to driving as is apparent on this mornings drive to work. In fact, I get the distinct impression that some people don’t actually believe you have to change your driving habits one iota when it’s snowy. Not even when your car is telling you to calm down a bit.
It all seemed to go OK until we got off the motorway and then the cocks started showing their true colours. A woman in an A3 (who I’m pretty sure I recognised as one of our customers [confirmed when she drove into their site] ) and a bloke in an A4 BOTH slid past me on the slip road with their ABS going nuts and then CUT in front of me. They did this through skill and breathtaking control, they did not do this because I held back and let them in. You can tell this because neither of them had to wave thanks. So not in anyway alarmed by almost causing a multiple pileup, they both continued at the same pace until an annoying lorry driving far too slow held them up, so they both nipped into the outside lane to overtake it.
You know, everyone is driving in the inside lane for a reason, IT’S BECAUSE THE OUTSIDE LANE IS FULL OF FUCKING SNOW!!! That isn’t stopping these two characters though, they’ve got traction control you know. Yes, so has everyone else with a car less than 6 years old but they’re not letting it go to their heads. So they both charge along flinging snow everywhere until the lane ends, unfortunately they haven’t yet got past the lorry so they’ve got to stop. But you see, stopping is a problem when your car is axle deep in snow with no doubt, a good covering of ice underneath it. How they didn’t cause a crash I don’t know but I saw both cars drifting sideways, the A3 definately hit the kerb.
A normal person would at this point realise they were behaving recklessly and rein it in a bit for the rest of the mile journey to work. But these two are already late, they’ve been held up by this white stuff. Needs must , time is money! As the lorry drove past them, they both nailed it to get in behind it. YOUR WHEELS ARE SITTING ONTOP OF 3 INCHES OF SNOW THAT YOU’VE JUST POLISHED BY SKIDDING TO A HALT!!! But not enough to stop them moving at all, so they both half edge out into my lane (in front of me) and then stop, front wheels spinning crazily.
I stop because I can’t get past them and the cars behind me (a lot of whom also appeared to be driving too fast), all do that kink drift thing in the queue as they skid to a halt. Eventually something pings in their heads and they realise that skinning it makes your car stop in the snow and the two Audi’s roll into my lane. Again, this was all done with amazing skill since they felt no need to wave thanks to me for waiting.
And again, again. Do you think this has made them drive sensibly? Nope, both cars could be seen fishtailing round pretty much every roundabout from the motorway to the business park where they work.
Bell fucking ends.
things that blow | admin | 
December 22, 2009 8:19 am
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By Simon, December 22, 2009 @ 7:12 pm
There is a hell of a lot of total fuckwittery going on at the moment. I’ll be glad when Spring is here
By donk, December 23, 2009 @ 9:57 am
Soooo many people seem to think the best way of gaining forward motion is right foot to the floor, fair enough there’ll be a few automatics that can’t handle snow but every other car seems to be revving the nuts off their engines and still not getting anywhere. Muppets.